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Voila bientôt quatre ans que je vis chez Mme Lucita. Plusieurs l’appelle Lulu mais je n’imagine même pas la baffe que j’aurais avalé si j’avais osé l’appeler ainsi. Depuis que maman est morte il y a maintenant deux ans, je me livre aux travaux domestiques chez Mme Lucita.

Auparavant, maman et moi faisions la vaisselle ensemble, la lessive et même le repassage. Mme Lucita frappait souvent ma maman mais elle me disait qu’il fallait que l’on reste ici en attendant d’avoir amassé assez de sous pour nous faire une vie à nous. Chaque soir maman pleurait dans la salle de bain. Je ne comprenais pas trop ce qui se passait autour de moi mais je ne voulais pas qu’elle pleure ma maman. Maman me disait que nous devions être fortes parce que le ciel avait voulu que l’on vive ainsi néanmoins son ange gardien nous sortirait bientôt de ce trou noir. Alors moi, je priais. Je priais cet ange gardien dont maman parlait si souvent. Cependant plus les jours passaient, plus la vie devenait difficile. Mme Lucita n’hésitait jamais à lui donner des giffles ou encore à la blesser avec ses paroles. Maman acceptait tout sans rien dire, comme si elle payait une dette à Mme Lucita. Un jour, maman se réveilla avec une douleur à la poitrine. Elle avait du mal à respirer et bientôt, une masse se forma près de son sein. Maman eu beau dire à Mme Lucita qu’elle ne pouvait plus travailler, cette dernière se jetait sur elle pour la rouer de coups comme- ci maman n’était qu’un vulgaire débris. Cela me faisait tant de peine mais je ne pouvais rien faire pour la défendre. Lorsque j’entendais maman crier dans la chambre alors que Mme Lucita utilisait tout ce qui lui tombait sous la main pour la frapper, je suppliais l’ange gardien de venir à notre secours.

Un dimanche matin, alors que nous revenions de la messe, maman se coucha et me prit la main. Elle n’était plus du tout la même et pouvait à peine parler. Ce jour- la, maman parti au paradis. Seule dans la chambre ce soir-là, je tremblais. Je ne savais plus pourquoi je vivais. Je n’avais que maman sur terre. Le jour où nous sommes arrivées chez Mme Lucita, elle m’avait promis que les choses seraient plus faciles, que nous pourrions enfin manger et boire chaque jour, que nous aurions un toit et qu’elle n’aurait plus à se rendre chez ces messieurs le soir; qu’elle aurait un travail respectable et que nous serions enfin heureuses.  J’ai vraiment cru ce jour où l’un des “Monsieur “de maman nous a échangé contre quelques billets verts que notre vie allait réellement commencer.

Hélas…chez Mme Lucita nous mangions mais la misère qu’elle nous infligeait était plus amère que l’eau de rigole que je devais boire le nez bouché il y a de cela quatre ans. Les choses ne se sont pas améliorées depuis la mort de maman. Avec mes bras frêles, je dois rapporter les fruits du marché. Je souffre oui, mais je souffre en silence. Je prends les gifles sans rien dire. Pourtant, Mme Lucita semble gentille avec les enfants du voisinage. Elle leur sourit et leur demande des nouvelles de leurs parents. Cependant avec moi, c’est différent; peut-être que c’est parce que je ne suis pas aussi jolie que les filles du voisinage. La nuit, Mme Lucita inspecte tous les recoins de la maison pour verifier  si j’ai bien exécute mes taches. Lorsqu’elle se retrouve avec un peu de poussière sur les doigts, je sais à coup sûr que je me retrouverai avec plusieurs cicatrices sur mes jambes chétives le lendemain matin. Lorsque la douleur devient insupportable et que je ne peux retenir mes sanglots, elle me lance d’une voix sèche:

Siw wè janw lèd lè wap kriye

Un jour, elle m’a même foulé de bras. Mme Lucita semblait si furieuse. Je ne savais pas pourquoi elle passait toujours sa rage sur moi. Elle ne ratait jamais une occasion de me dire à quel point j’étais laide, que ma mère brulait maintenant en enfer pour expier mes péchés. Je ne savais plus à qui parler, à qui me confier, j’attendais juste que la mort vienne me convier.  Un jour, je me suis réveillée au milieu de la nuit avec une douleur au bas du ventre. Les draps étaient tâchés de sang. Lorsque je courus en sanglots près de Mme Lucita, elle me ramena dans ma chambre en me tirant le bras.

Ti salòp! Wap lave dra yo ban mwen wi!

Ce soir-là, j’ai cru que je mourais, que ma misère serait bientôt terminée et que je pourrais enfin rejoindre ma maman. Mais ce ne fut pas le cas. J’ai continué à grandir et à subir les atrocités de Mme Lucita. Deux années s’écoulèrent ainsi. Les jours où elle n’avait pas eu une bonne journée, c’était moi qui payais les pots cassés. Lorsque Mme Lucita recevait des invités à la maison, je devais sourire, être polie et servir les invités. Mme Lucita leur racontait à quel point elle avait pitié de moi, qu’elle se sentait responsable de moi depuis la mort de ma mère. Si seulement un quart de ce qu’elle racontait était vrai, si seulement Mme Lucita ressentait un minimum de compassion envers moi…les choses auraient peut-être été différentes. Mais je gardais confiance. Mon ange gardien me sortirait bientôt d’ici.

Au cours d’une nuit pluvieuse, Mme Lucita fit entrer un homme dans ma chambre. J’étais entre sommeil et réveil. Tout ce dont je me rappelle, c’est que Mme Lucita ferma la porte en me laissant seule avec lui. Cet homme était vieux, pas très beau mais bien vêtu. On voyait bien à son apparence qu’il avait les moyens. Il passa son doigt crochu sur mon visage lisse et me déchira les vêtements. Je voulus crier ‘A l’aide’ mais j’avais appris depuis bien longtemps que personne ne viendrait à mon secours ici. Alors je restai silencieuse pendant que cet homme m’écrasait sous le poids de son corps. Je me sentis transpercée, blessée, humiliée. A travers mes larmes je m’efforçais de voir un signe, une lumière qui me donnerait le courage de continuer à respirer. Lorsqu’il eut terminé, il me caressa le visage et me dit à quel point j’étais belle. Ceci dura six mois. Chaque soir, il venait, et utilisait mon corps pour ses moments de plaisir. Ensuite, il s’en allait au milieu de la nuit. Lorsque je tombais malade, Mme Lucita me menaçait

Ou pap fèm pèdi kòb sa non. Wap mare sentiw pouw ka  bay mesye a sal vin chèche

La situation devenait de moins en moins pénible avec l’habitude. J’avais appris à survivre. Des fois, il était sauvage, d’autres fois plus tendre. Je m’adaptais, je supportais. Un jour, après avoir rassemblé tout le courage qu’il me restait, je murmurai à ce Monsieur

SVP…Sortez-moi d’ici

Avec un sourire, il me fit comprendre que ce serait possible. Alors, deux jours plus tard, avec un sachet en main, je quittais la maison de Mme Lucita. Sur le seuil de la porte, elle me regardait m’en aller, quelques billets à la main. Je montai dans la voiture de celui qui avait eu la ‘gentillesse’ de m’acheter. Il mit le véhicule en marche, me pressa la cuisse pour me faire comprendre que j’étais à lui. J’avalai ma salive et je baissai les yeux. Peut-être que mon ange gardien m’avait vraiment écouté. Peut-être que dans ce nouveau foyer, j’aurais enfin un semblant de liberté…

Image: Joshua Clark Art

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Ann-Sophie Ovile
I am a girl who is passionate about seeing the world, loving people, the beach, rooftops and red lipsticks. I am trying to make the world a little brighter one article at a time.

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