Maybe I should just stop turning


I’ll try to stay as objective and respectful as possible because I know this topic might make some people feel some type of way. Plus I don’t want this to get me in trouble at home. I think it’s one of those things people notice but never mention, well at least the fellas. It used to be every guy’s thing, but lately I’ve been feeling like I’m the only one who’s giving up on this great habit while every other man walking the face of the earth is having the time of his life, breaking his neck like never before.

My boy turned 5 months not too long ago but I still remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. This made me realize that before I know it I will need to have « the man talk » with him and teach him the perfect balance between respect and sexuality. This also got me reminiscing about the day I looked at him for the first time and whispered to myself « gad kijan m’ sove », thinking about how I probably escaped the popular myth « se vakabon ki fè pitit fi ». I know danm well I wasn’t a saint. Looking back at it was my thing.

Now, I can’t even remember the last time I turned. The few seconds of ultimate viewing pleasures used to hit the spot every time but a while ago I realized how the hypnotizing bounce goes straight into the forgotten files in your memory as she fades into the crowd like an apparition. Yes, people I’m talking about ASS! Yup, a woman’s butt!

You would think it’s programmed into every man’s brain to automatically and discretely follow a woman’s butt with his eyes as she walks by. We just can’t help it. Even when walking with the « chosen » one, we won’t even shame ourselves into not using the oldest trick in the book: « Babe, look at this girl’s butt… wow!! That’s just too big right? » No matter what, knowing danm well it will get us in trouble, we just have to see what her mama gave her. When the woman in question has mastered the « walk », you know the walk that makes it jiggle, the feeling is even more orgasmic which of course has you contemplating about what you should, could, or would do, if and only if… but let’s be honest, the rule is clear and we all respect it: « you can look, but you CAN NOT TOUCH ».

The sad truth is we all know it’s not automatic. We’re just all poor victims of great marketing strategies! This crime against us is actually premeditated, a well-organized trap or as the youngings would call it a “thirst trap”. After the long makeup sessions, most women if not all always take a quick glance at their cakes before walking away from the mirror, to make sure the jeans, dress, leggings or whatever they’re wearing is hugging, lifting and shaping them just right!

I’ll take this opportunity to make this public service announcement to the ladies: if a guy (most of them) had the choice he would rather see a woman’s butt before her face (please notice how said « He would rather see it first then complete the admiration with her face »). For those of you wondering, yes your brain and personality count just as much but they come a little later during the process! I think we can all agree that if you asked a guy why he loves his wife and his answer was “because she’s the smartest woman I’ve ever met”, you wouldn’t really believe him. For some reason, “She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen” is a more believable answer. It’s actually by law, the law of attraction that is.

I think most women are in on the secret by now: “The best way to a man’s heart is through his eyes”. It’s all about how well you present the complete package. Unfortunately some women(some men too) focus so much on the presentation that they completely forget about the content.

When plastic surgery became accessible and affordable to the masses, the demand was for facial feature enhancements, reducing the appearance wrinkles and old age, breast augmentations and liposuction. But that was then. Now the requests are different. The « hour glass » flipped and women are no longer worried about stopping their clock or looking younger. The focus has shifted from their face to their body, more specifically to their lower body. It’s all about who has the best slim waist to fat ass ratio and the best « slim thick » body.

Although a man turning to look at a woman’s butt may seem like a silly gesture to some, this simple gesture is responsible for a billion dollar industry. This new trend has been the cause of multiple deaths, imprisonments, breakups and divorces. Now don’t get all technical here and tell me “oh, it’s not about guys just turning…”. I am well aware of the details and variables trust me! But if you add it all up, from the lifters, the butt pads, the shots, the fat transfers, the waist trainers and so on….

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But pad

Butt pad

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Fat transfer

Fat transfer

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…it all comes down to women looking good and men appreciating their curves.
“Thirst trapping” is no longer something that happens once in a while on a sidewalk. With social media, where everything  is exhibited and glamourized with filters, perfect angles, photo editing apps etc, anyone can find this great pleasure (which used to be serendipitous) at any given time by a simple scroll down their timeline. For men like myself who were fortunate enough to experience the real  pleasure of watching an all natural woman leave, the fantasy stopped. I got in on their secret and acquired the unfortunate skill of spotting Dr Shahine works from the Almighty’s. The disappointment couldn’t have been greater. It was like the moment when a child realized Santa Claus didn’t really exist. Yes, you still exchange gifts every Christmas (in this case you’d see them all the time) but the excitement is simply not the same. My dreams were crushed and it was killing me inside. Every time I saw one (mostly the ones you can tell they have a fatty from the front) the anticipation was no longer on the reveal of the masterpiece but more on the disappointment to come. So I found myself turning less and less.

Honestly I stopped turning as often as I used to because I was lucky enough to call one of those complete packages my own and the pleasure just was not there anymore. I guess I  grew out of it.

To all the “ass man” out there who still turn every time, just know that I miss those days when we used to catch each other in the act and smile with the head nod meaning « you saw that too bro”.

Sincerely, an “ass man”.

Let’s be respectful, but please tag or share this with 1 or 5 women you know with an amazing butt let them know they’re appreciated.


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