CULTUREFREE WRITING

I choose to be NAKED

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Naked… what does it really mean?

For¬†me, it is more than the¬†lack of¬†clothing. What does it mean to¬†have a¬†naked soul? I¬†have always been in¬†love with authenticity, people who have the¬†courage to¬†come as¬†they are with their strengths and¬†flaws. People who are not afraid to¬†make mistakes, people who are not afraid to¬†say “I¬†was wrong”. But what often happens in¬†“real life” is that we are surrounded by¬†masks.

A¬†few days ago I’ve been asked a¬†question: “What happens after you get an¬†encounter with God? Do you consider yourself as¬†perfect? Are you like a¬†kind of¬†saint?” As¬†obvious as¬†the¬†answer might be, I¬†got this questions quite many times, just in¬†different forms. Now before I¬†directly answer this question, I¬†am going to¬†share something with you.

A¬†few months ago, I¬†was finishing the¬†last chapters of¬†my¬†book: “DAUGHTERS AND¬†SONS OF¬†THE¬†KING”. As¬†I¬†was going through the¬†pages, I¬†got somewhat uncomfortable about how “naked” I¬†presented myself in¬†the¬†book. It was like, at¬†the¬†very end of¬†finalizing it, I¬†realized: “Am I¬†really ready for¬†all of¬†these people to¬†read this‚Ķ and¬†this … and¬†this”. Out of¬†nowhere, I¬†started doubting what I¬†was about to¬†share. Not that it was anything that the¬†majority of¬†people haven’t experienced or¬†done, but they were things that society considers as¬†‘better off unsaid’. This day, I¬†realized that breaking barriers and¬†being the¬†change you wish to¬†see in¬†the¬†world is easier said than done! Yes I¬†believe that it was easier for¬†black Americans to¬†complain about the¬†situation than being Martin Luther King Jr. It was probably easier to¬†talk about love than being Gandhi. And¬†yes it was easier to¬†say that Jesus was a¬†prophet rather than following someone who not only affirmed but showed that He was the¬†Son of¬†God. Now let’s not spend too much time on¬†these comparisons.

Where do I¬†want to¬†get with all of¬†this? Well, after I¬†doubted some particular things that I¬†talk about in¬†my¬†book, I¬†asked the¬†universe for¬†a¬†sign. (This is generally how God talks to¬†us…signs). I¬†told God that, if it was really His will for¬†me to¬†be “naked” in¬†this book, if it would really help many others who simply don’t have someone that has the¬†courage to¬†be ‘naked’ in¬†front of¬†them. So a¬†few days after this, I¬†got invited to¬†a¬†school to¬†speak to¬†young girls. First of¬†all, I’ve been asked to¬†come last minute because the¬†woman who was supposed to¬†do it had a¬†last minute obstacle. Then, when I¬†started my¬†speech, it happened, a¬†little hand was raised and¬†that girl asked a¬†question about that specific thing I¬†had been the¬†most uncomfortable about and¬†in¬†the¬†split of¬†a¬†second the¬†whole room got agitated like they had this question for¬†years. I¬†realized that deleting, or¬†should I¬†say hiding this part of¬†my¬†story would not only be selfish of¬†me but it would make me just like all of¬†the¬†people who made me separate myself from all of¬†‘this God stuff’ a¬†few years ago.

People who connect with me are able to¬†do so because I¬†didn’t erase my¬†past or¬†even my¬†present after my¬†“encounter” or¬†“experience”(call it as¬†you wish) with God. Unlike what most people think, God uses flaws in¬†the¬†most beautiful ways. The¬†reason why the¬†experience of¬†God brings hope is because it shows you that He uses you despise of¬†what you thought you lacked. As¬†I¬†like to¬†repeat:

When God chose Moses to¬†liberate the¬†Hebrews from Egypt, Moses looked at¬†himself and¬†said “Who am I¬†to¬†go talk to¬†the¬†king? I¬†can’t even speak well! I¬†don’t have that gift” And¬†God asked “Who made your mouth?”

Just like He put your parts together in the womb, He can uses your parts as He wishes to touch who it needs to touch. Period.

So to answer the question, I am far from perfect! I just know that my imperfect story can touch imperfect people and help them heal and do amazing things. I know that, because I, just like any other disciple you can read about in the bible, am not perfect but know that in God I have all the tools I need, I will accomplish what He told me to accomplish in my dreams and visions. I choose to be naked in my book because the world needs it. I choose to be uncomfortable because I know that it will make others comfortable. I choose to talk about my past addiction to masturbation and other things I might not be proud of to show that imperfection can be used for a purpose.

Naked…. what does it mean?

I choose to be naked to attract those who are tired of hiding. I choose to be naked because if I were perfect, it would be too easy to glorify myself instead of recognizing the hand of a higher power in my life. A power that guides, heals, liberates and accomplishes miracles in the dirtiest places.

I choose to be naked because I am proud of my story. I choose to be naked because I am not afraid of being misunderstood. Some people will never agree with you especially if they are more focused on disagreeing than listening, get over it, your purpose is not about glory for yourself.

I choose to be naked because God loved me as I was and still loves me as I am even when I fall.

So no, I¬†am not a¬†saint, I¬†am Ann-Sophie. And¬†if you see me doing “amazing” things, know that it is not always me….as¬†weird as¬†this might sound…some things I¬†have accomplished are not from me. I¬†have flaws…many flaws. I¬†get impatient, I¬†don’t always take the¬†time to¬†listen, I¬†have a¬†temper, and¬†I¬†get tempted to¬†do things that are not good for¬†my¬†mind, body and¬†soul. I¬†often need to¬†ask the¬†spirit to¬†help me. No I¬†am not perfect but can I¬†do the¬†purpose God gave me perfectly? Absolutely. Not because I¬†am THAT awesome but because I¬†let Him lead me.

If you are afraid to¬†be ‘naked’ today, don’t be, God has this way of¬†creating beauty in¬†the¬†saddest places.

And¬†if you are in¬†Haiti this week-end, join me this Sunday at¬†my¬†book signing at¬†Bo Village (3 PM) for¬†a¬†cocktail and¬†other surprises. Before you say: “I¬†am not about that God stuff”, just know that God picked me up at¬†a¬†time where I¬†didn’t really want more of¬†Him

Be blessed!

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Ann-Sophie Ovile
I am a girl who is passionate about seeing the world, loving people, the beach, rooftops and red lipsticks. I am trying to make the world a little brighter one article at a time.

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