I choose to be NAKED

Naked… what does it really mean?

For me, it is more than the lack of clothing. What does it mean to have a naked soul? I have always been in love with authenticity, people who have the courage to come as they are with their strengths and flaws. People who are not afraid to make mistakes, people who are not afraid to say « I was wrong ». But what often happens in « real life » is that we are surrounded by masks.

A few days ago I’ve been asked a question: « What happens after you get an encounter with God? Do you consider yourself as perfect? Are you like a kind of saint? » As obvious as the answer might be, I got this questions quite many times, just in different forms. Now before I directly answer this question, I am going to share something with you.

A few months ago, I was finishing the last chapters of my book: « DAUGHTERS AND SONS OF THE KING ». As I was going through the pages, I got somewhat uncomfortable about how « naked » I presented myself in the book. It was like, at the very end of finalizing it, I realized: « Am I really ready for all of these people to read this… and this … and this ». Out of nowhere, I started doubting what I was about to share. Not that it was anything that the majority of people haven’t experienced or done, but they were things that society considers as ‘better off unsaid’. This day, I realized that breaking barriers and being the change you wish to see in the world is easier said than done! Yes I believe that it was easier for black Americans to complain about the situation than being Martin Luther King Jr. It was probably easier to talk about love than being Gandhi. And yes it was easier to say that Jesus was a prophet rather than following someone who not only affirmed but showed that He was the Son of God. Now let’s not spend too much time on these comparisons.

Where do I want to get with all of this? Well, after I doubted some particular things that I talk about in my book, I asked the universe for a sign. (This is generally how God talks to us…signs). I told God that, if it was really His will for me to be « naked » in this book, if it would really help many others who simply don’t have someone that has the courage to be ‘naked’ in front of them. So a few days after this, I got invited to a school to speak to young girls. First of all, I’ve been asked to come last minute because the woman who was supposed to do it had a last minute obstacle. Then, when I started my speech, it happened, a little hand was raised and that girl asked a question about that specific thing I had been the most uncomfortable about and in the split of a second the whole room got agitated like they had this question for years. I realized that deleting, or should I say hiding this part of my story would not only be selfish of me but it would make me just like all of the people who made me separate myself from all of ‘this God stuff’ a few years ago.

People who connect with me are able to do so because I didn’t erase my past or even my present after my « encounter » or « experience »(call it as you wish) with God. Unlike what most people think, God uses flaws in the most beautiful ways. The reason why the experience of God brings hope is because it shows you that He uses you despise of what you thought you lacked. As I like to repeat:

When God chose Moses to liberate the Hebrews from Egypt, Moses looked at himself and said « Who am I to go talk to the king? I can’t even speak well! I don’t have that gift » And God asked « Who made your mouth? »

Just like He put your parts together in the womb, He can uses your parts as He wishes to touch who it needs to touch. Period.

So to answer the question, I am far from perfect! I just know that my imperfect story can touch imperfect people and help them heal and do amazing things. I know that, because I, just like any other disciple you can read about in the bible, am not perfect but know that in God I have all the tools I need, I will accomplish what He told me to accomplish in my dreams and visions. I choose to be naked in my book because the world needs it. I choose to be uncomfortable because I know that it will make others comfortable. I choose to talk about my past addiction to masturbation and other things I might not be proud of to show that imperfection can be used for a purpose.

Naked…. what does it mean?

I choose to be naked to attract those who are tired of hiding. I choose to be naked because if I were perfect, it would be too easy to glorify myself instead of recognizing the hand of a higher power in my life. A power that guides, heals, liberates and accomplishes miracles in the dirtiest places.

I choose to be naked because I am proud of my story. I choose to be naked because I am not afraid of being misunderstood. Some people will never agree with you especially if they are more focused on disagreeing than listening, get over it, your purpose is not about glory for yourself.

I choose to be naked because God loved me as I was and still loves me as I am even when I fall.

So no, I am not a saint, I am Ann-Sophie. And if you see me doing « amazing » things, know that it is not always me….as weird as this might sound…some things I have accomplished are not from me. I have flaws…many flaws. I get impatient, I don’t always take the time to listen, I have a temper, and I get tempted to do things that are not good for my mind, body and soul. I often need to ask the spirit to help me. No I am not perfect but can I do the purpose God gave me perfectly? Absolutely. Not because I am THAT awesome but because I let Him lead me.

If you are afraid to be ‘naked’ today, don’t be, God has this way of creating beauty in the saddest places.

And if you are in Haiti this week-end, join me this Sunday at my book signing at Bo Village (3 PM) for a cocktail and other surprises. Before you say: « I am not about that God stuff », just know that God picked me up at a time where I didn’t really want more of Him

Be blessed!

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