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Tourbillon de désirs

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Prise entre passion et amour, tendresse et foudre parce mon corps me dit oui mais mon coeur me fait la gueule. Que dois-je faire? Ce serait si simple si j’étais un homme. La femme au coeur sensible me pardonnerait. Je me sentirais comme un héros, un guerrier vaillant, un homme viril. Mais je suis une femme et ce genre d’écart ne m’est pas autorisé. Néanmoins, je dois affronter les mêmes démons que les hommes et faire face à ce duel entre mon corps et mon coeur. Car je suis un homme dans le corps d’une femme.

Je le veux et je ressens ce désir à travers tout mon être. Il me fait vibrer. Je n’ai qu’une seule envie: lui arracher ses vêtements et le baiser toute la nuit. Pour assouvir ce desir ardent qui me ronge et m’obsède. Pourquoi n’aies-je pas droit au plaisir? Pourquoi ne dois-je miser que sur un homme pour connaitre la douceur de la chair? Je veux baiser comme un homme et m’en aller pour continuer tranquillement ma vie. Je rêve de connaître le plaisir du sexe sans attachement de l’amour.

Je suis un homme dans la peau d’une femme, condamnée à ressentir le besoin assoiffant de baiser, à regarder ma proie sans jamais pouvoir lui sauter dessus. Parce que le conventionnalisme des autres m’emprisonne. Je voudrais lui dire d’aller au diable mais la puissance du désir charnel qui me ronge ne me le permet pas.

Les femmes ne me comprendront pas et les hommes se sentiront menacés par moi.

Et, pendant ce temps, ce tourbillon de plaisir et d’amour, me tue à petit feu.

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Elle F.
Out of all the things I could have chosen to explore, I picked the pleasures of the flesh to the great displeasure of my peers...

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